BBQ Ranch. Creamy Chipotle-Peach. Yeah. From the Department of Salad Dressing RoomđđȘ
Three classics for free readers, two bold new recipes exclusively for subscribers. It's creamy dressing week!
I HAVE SEEN THE BEST MINDS of my generation flake out at the prospect of making salad dressing. I watched a grown man squirt ketchup on a salad to avoid mixing a few ingredients together in a jar. I once stood by as a female friend splashed her salad with Tabasco sauce because sheâd run out of Girardâs Champagne Vinaigrette. And it has always been my experience that the best way to clear a kitchen is to ask: "Who wants to make the dressing?â
We live in difficult times, I know. We all do the best we can. But Iâll never understand why making a vinaigrette, of all our earthly chores, is such a bother for so many people.
Have we all forgotten what it used to be like? Whenever early humans wanted to make a nice saladâaccording to this article, they did eat saladâthey had to go out, in fair or foul weather, and capture their dressing ingredients using tools they made from rocks, while dodging large saber-tooth cats. Can you imagine the damage that kind of psychic stress caused?
This traumatic ancestral memory, which is completely fabricated, by me, is the only reason I can come up with for the largely unnecessary and relatively recent rise of bottled salad dressings. (According to the Association for Dressings and Sauces, humans probably began bottling salad-related condiments in the late 19th century, even though weâd been dressing our salads in oil and vinegar for thousands of years and making creamy dressings since the debut of mayonnaise over 250 years ago.)
Honestly, what elseâother than a long-buried, subconscious aversionâ could possibly explain why mankind drives to the grocery store to purchase something that is a snap to make at home, not to mention fresher, more delicious, cheaper, and less chemical-laden than whatâs for sale.
Iâm not constitutionally against store-bought dressings! I understand that for many people the convenience is absolutely essential. And theyâre often delicious. I have a nostalgic attachment to quite a few and was a disciple of Girardâs and Silver Palate for many years.
But that was before I dedicated my remaining years on this strange planet to salad. Now, I am a pilgrim and a warrior. And the single most common note that issues from my clarion trumpet is this: Make your own dressing.
I believe the number of people who want to do just that has been steadily growingâbecause dressings have turned out to be some of the most popular recipes weâve offered at the Department of Salad. And weâll keep the lights on in the Dressing Room as long as you keep âlikingâ the recipes. (You ask, we listen.)
A couple of weeks ago, we toured the salad archivesâwhich got a positive response and lots of nice notes. This time, weâre briefly opening the private Dressing Room door.
The first three recipes are unlocked for everyoneâa little sampler of creamy favorites for free readers. But the last two, which are brand new, stay behind the closed dressing room doors, just for our subscribers. We adore you! Thank you for keeping this place running. See you later this week with more salad.
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ONE REQUEST
If you enjoyed being here, why not hit the â€ïž button? It would mean a lot. XOâEmily
*RECIPE: DOS Avocado Green Goddess Dressing
Makes about 1œ cups
Part of the reason I love this dressing so much, aside from the fact that it blew my socks off, is that itâs a great way to curb avocado loss. In case you didnât know: Once an avocado gets ripe or almost ripe, if you pop it in the fridge it will hold in that state for several more days. A cold ripe avocado is perfect for this recipe, which keeps its bright green color beautifully days after you mix it up.
I based mine on my own green goddess dip, and I will warn you that neither recipe is the same without tarragon. The other herbs are more flexible (I used basil, parsley, and chives; mint and dill would also be good), but if you canât find tarragon it wonât be the same. This dressing is the perfect accompaniment for a steamed artichoke.
1 large ripe avocado
2 anchovies
1 clove garlic, trimmed and peeled
1 heaping tablespoon chopped tarragon
2 tablespoon chopped basil
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
2 tablespoons chopped chives
1 tablespoon olive oil
Juice of œ lemon
Πcup mayonnaise
Πcup plain whole-milk yogurt
Pinch of salt
Dab of hot sauce
In the bowl of a food processor (I used my mini; it was just right), place all the ingredients except the mayonnaise, yogurt, salt, and hot sauce and process. Add the remaining ingredients and process again until smooth. Adjust salt and lemon, if necessary. Store in a jar with a tight-fitting lid. If it begins to brown, you can top with a layer of lemon juice (pour it off before using). And not to brag, but mine stayed bright green and beautiful. If you want to thin this dressing, just blend in a tablespoon or two of water.
*RECIPE: Olive Island Dressing
Makes about 1œ cups
Like blue cheese, ranch, and Green Goddess, this creamy dressing is perfect and pretty on a wedge. But my favorite way to eat it is to spoon it generously onto a giant bowl of thinly shredded iceberg mixed with a handful of very thinly sliced white onion. Toss this all together thoroughly to coat the crunchy lettuce; season with salt and pepper; serve.
1 cup mayonnaise (I prefer Dukeâs)
2 tablespoons sour cream
3 tablespoons Sriracha (if you use another, similar hot sauce, makes sure you taste as you go)
œ cup finely chopped green salad olives (aka the small, oily, salty, meaty Manzanillas available in every grocery store)
œ cup plus 1 tablespoon roughly chopped cornichons
2 tablespoons finely chopped red onion
1 tablespoon chopped chives
2 teaspoons honey
Juice of 1 lemon (about 2 tablespoons)
1 tablespoon champagne vinegar (or white wine vinegar)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.
In a large bowl, combine all ingredients; whisk or stir until well incorporated. Taste. Adjust seasonings. Refrigerate until chilled through. This is better after at least one night in the fridge, stored in an airtight container.
*RECIPE: Powerful and Creamy Garlic Chive Protein Dressing
Makes about 1œ cups
For this recipe, which is perfect for lackluster green salads, you should use 4% cottage cheese with a dry curdâmy favorites are Good Culture and Breakstoneâs. Iâve used Greek yogurt, because I love it, but you could use regular yogurt; you wonât have to thin the mixture as much if you do.
1 cup 4% cottage cheese
ÂŒ cup plain yogurt (I used Greek yogurt; if you use regular, you wonât need to thin it as much)
Πcup freshly squeezed lemon juice
Zest of œ lemon (use your microplane)
2 big garlic cloves, cut into pieces (if you are not a garlic fiend, just use one)
3 tablespoon olive oil
3 to 4 tablespoons water (less if you use regular yogurt instead of Greek)
Œ to œ teaspoon salt
A few grinds of black pepper, if desired.
œ cup chopped fresh chives
Combine all ingredients except the chives in the bowl of a mini food processor and process until very smooth. This could take a couple of minutes. Thin the mixture with 1 tablespoon of water at a time, processing after each addition, until you have a very smooth, slightly thick, but pourable mixture. Taste for salt and pepper; you might want a bit more lemon juice or olive oil. Add the chives and process again, very briefly, to combine.