A Dapper Pineapple and Jicama Salad
That you'll make again and again and again and again and again and again and again
IT’S BEEN MORE THAN TWO WEEKS since I finally unpacked my new Cuisinart food processor and got the courage to use it—and I haven’t gone to bed since then. I’m just joking, but I can’t stop experimenting with it.
The fears I voiced in yesterday’s newsletter are coming true; my little electric friend is turning me into a different person in the kitchen, a machine-reliant, robot-loving patsy. Right now, the seduction phase is fun, but I have this vision of my future in which I lie on the couch drinking coffee while feeding produce into my greedy Cuisinart, which I have placed within arm’s reach on my coffee table, connected to the kitchen outlet by an extension cord.
Anyway, I’m surrendering to it, while simultaneously remembering how much fun it is to cut and slice things using my actual human hands. And speaking of fun, the salad I have for you today, for which my machine was ultimately unsuitable (hahaha, machine), is based on a Rick Martinez recipe for Gaspacho Moreliano, the signature fruit salad snack served from stands lining streets in the Mexican city of Morelia. (To be authentic, it would have mango, probably a lot more spice, and orange juice, among other felicities.)
But aside from buying a pineapple, I used what I already I had in my kitchen, left over from other salads: jicama, lime, mint, shallot, jalapeños.
You can always buy cut up “fresh” pineapple at most grocers, but buying a whole one and cutting it up yourself produces a totally different pineapple experience. It hasn’t been sitting in its juices until it’s practically fermented, you don’t end with the surprise of over- or underripe fruit, and—this is huge for me—you get to control the shape of the pieces. Who want’s pineapple rings? Are you going to the carnival to play ring-toss?
In a former life, it was once part of my grueling job at a fancy restaurant to trim and cut up small barrels of pineapples to turn into fruit platters. It was actually the highlight of my day. This method is similar to the one I used back then and use now (except for the fancy eye-removal technique; I just mow right over them then daintily remove any remaining spikes or seeds, which won’t kill you).